Oh, the old wise proverbs that we hear all the time.

Sure, there’s a lot of wisdom in these, but aren’t there times that you just don’t want to hear them?
Well, just for those moments, here’s a few cynical answers to shoot back:

• Early to bed
  early to rise
  makes for a sleepy man
  with bloodshot eyes.
• A bird in the hand is . . .
  dinner!
• A penny saved is . . .
  taxed for a dollar.
• A stitch in time . . .
  to sew up that pesky temporal rift.
• Good things come to those who . . .
  usually don’t deserve them
  . . . or . . .
  Good things come to those who . . .
  wade. (fishin’)
• It is always darker just before . . .
  everything goes completely black. — Thanks to my good friend Zeb for this one!
• He who laughs last . . .
  is kinda slow on the uptake
  But he means well, bless his heart! (In the Mountains, we follow such comments with this phrase so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.)
• Behind every good man is . . .
  someone waitin’ to stab him in the back!
• All is well that ends . . .
  the way that I wanted it to.

Hope you enjoyed these!
Have some of your own?
Please join the fun and share them!

See you next time,
–Ol’ John Brown