Ghost Car

The Ghost Car

This is supposed to be a true story. It allegedly just outside of Ironwood, a little town in Michigan’s upper peninsula.

This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard  he could hardly see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in  the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed  the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.  Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified,  too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw
that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life. He was sure the ghost car would go off the road and in the swamp and he would surely drown!

But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at the driver’s window and a hand reached in and turned the steering  wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again! Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth and not just some drunk.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, “Look Toivo, der’s dat idiot dat rode in our car when we wuz pushin’ it in da rain.”

A Dog Named “Sex”

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex.

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I would like to have one too!” Then I said, “But she is a dog!” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. I said, “You don’t understand. … I have had Sex since I was nine years old.” He replied, “You must have been quite a strong boy.”

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, “But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.” He said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, “You don’t understand. … Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too!”

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. “You don’t understand,” I said, “I hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.” The Judge said, “Same here!”

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning. I said, “I’m looking for Sex.” — My case comes up next Thursday . . .

Well now I’ve been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, “What seems to be the trouble?” I replied, “Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can’t live any longer being so lonely.” and the doctor said, “Look mister, you should understand that sex isn’t a man’s best friend so go get yourself a dog!”

Sticky Note: New DVD My Favorite Storyteller

Don't miss this one folks!

Gary has been a wonderful friend of mine for many years and my mentor in storytelling so I’m truly tickled to share the news of his newest DVD with you!

This master storyteller’s books, plays and films are highly acclaimed; now in this special DVD, it’s Gary himself telling the tales!

“An Evening with Mountain Storyteller Gary Carden” is now available.

To get your copy, contact Gary at: gcarden498@aol.com

The cost is only $25.$20!

You can visit him in “Blog Holler.”

You can also drop by his website for some tales at the TanneryWhistle.

Uncle Frank’s New Fangled Smoke Detector

Lets him know if there is a fire in a jiffy!

Three Grandmas

Three mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when . . .

. . . a Grandpa walked by.

One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying,

'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

The old man said,

'There is no way you can guess it, you old fools!'

One of the old Grandmas said,

'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.

Then they all piped up and said . . .

'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked,

'How in the world did you guess?'

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison . . .

'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

Thanks to Mental Mum in Scotland for sharing this gem!