From Ol’ JB’s Book of Words pt. 2

What certain words sound like
 they ought to mean . . .

Abercrombie  – a pasta mixture often served in goulash or as Abercrombie and Cheese.

Absorbine Jr.  – 1.) Absorbine’s son. 2.) a small bean left to soak in water.

aboriginal  – originating from the abdomen.

acropolis  – a crop that has yielded more than expected.

acute  – describes something that is nice looking with childlike qualities and/or is very small.

adolescent  – 1.) someone who has been addled. 2.) the smell of someone who has been addled.  3.) term used to describe the glowing appearance of the stars seen after being addled.

algebra – a brassier designed and produced in Algeria.

almanac  – someone with an extreme affinity for almonds.

Al Paccino  – a steamed Italian coffee beverage.

apprentice   – an artist formerly known as a helper.

arachnophobia  – 1.) an unreasonable fear of tennis rackets. 2.) an unreasonable fear of a loud noise. 3.) an unreasonable fear of department store clothing racks.

archenemy  – someone with a grudge against fast food restaurants.

armoire  – a wire used to secure a dislocated wrist, elbow or shoulder.

azimuth  – someone with asthma.

Do you have some of your own? Feel free to share them with us!

More of these samples on the way mingled in with the others funnies and shared sillyness; see ya next time!

Ol’ John Brown

From Ol’ JB’s Book of Words 1

Dirt!

Yep, dirt is one of my favorite words because it simply sounds like what it is. Words should sound like what they mean.
Dirt sounds dirty and that’s that.

Soil, on the other hand, sounds too clean to be dirt (especially if it is on the other hand.) Nope, soil sounds like the brand name of a cooking oil — short for sunflower oil or soybean oil:

“I fry my taters in new low cholesterol “Soil” and they come out crunchy every time!”

“Epiphany” is another good example.

To me, this doesn’t sound like what it is. We don’t use the word around here for that reason. Mountain folk, contrary to popular belief, know plenty of ten dollar words but choose not to use them. We put a lot of stock in the way something sounds when it is said.

If someone simply said the word “epiphany” I’d be inclined to say “bless you!” because it sounds more like a sneeze than a sudden realization . . . though sometimes a sneeze is pretty sudden.

If used in a sentence, it sounds like something different . . .
If someone said: “I just had an epiphany.”

I’d be inclined to reply: “I’m sorry; I hope you weren’t in the hospital very long.”

I play with words a lot like this and will be sharing more in upcoming posts.
I hope that you’ll share a few of your own.

See you next time!
– Ol’ JB